Sedih

Sangat sangat sedih. I felt every part of me is falling down. I wont be surprised if I get an F for this OSPE and OSCE. It was the first time that i had to perform the clinical skills first. The clinical skills tested is catheterisation. I was quite nervous and i took a lot of time cleaning the suprapubic area, the private part and stuff, and as i inserted the catheter into the mannequin, the bell rang. I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED DOING THE CRUCIAL PART. NOT EVEN A BIT OF IT. And since that was the first station, it demotivates me till the end. Everything seems miserable. EVERY SINGLE THING. Then i say this microscopic picture, i was so sure it was Chronic Pyelonephritis, but then i saw the description : large and the kidney picture looks so huge. Chronic Pyelonephritis should'nt be larged. So i wrote everything else other than chronic pyelonephritis, again the bell rang. Then, i realised large pelvicalyceal, not large kidney. IT IS THE DESCRIPTION OF CHRONIC PYELONEPHRITIS. Yes. I should have followed what i saw microscopically instead of imagining the gross features. The kidney looks large because they zoomed in the picture. Urgh!

Emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo dgn diri sendiri. And now I'm writing because I just have no .... (feel in the blank tak sure perkataan apa sesuai) to face anyone so bersendirian di labcomp. lol

Lesson learnt, jangan nk nervous sgt smpai buat benda yg tk penting pun gila detail. And kalau dah tahu microscopic jangan kena tipu dengan imgination sendiri tengok gross dia -.-

ps: And That's not the only two i screwed up.