Thursday, May 7, 2015

Today

Tadi lepas exam, biasa la stress baca buku so Suddenly I felt like scrolling the whatsapp messages. I'm the type that keeps every conversation until it is necessary that i need to delete something (due to memory full or others). If not, the conversation remains in my phone forever. So scrolling and scrolling, i saw a few messages that i didn't even realise before lol A few birthday messages were ignored. I really really didn't realise those messages, i swear. I'm really sorryyyyy. and It's better late than never right? Thankyouu so so much ! Maybe because I just changed my phone sbb tu tak sedar. hihi sorry ! (ps: Yes, i found ways on how to transfer the conversation from my old phone to a new phone, and i succeeded) *peace* haha Am i the only one weird cause i met lots of people who delete all their convo most of the time? haha 

(Kalau org yg aku ckp thankyou tu jenis delete message, mesti dia macam kenapalah sara tetiba ckp thankyou ? hahaha) 


Ps: Esok OSPE and OSCE for urinary system, pray for me ! Thankyou :) 


Friday, March 6, 2015

26022015

Alhamdulillah, all praised to Allah for giving me such a beautiful life. It has been a while since I am no longer as confidence as I was before. I know my confidence level dropped since the MARA announced that I couldn't fly. I always cry and cry and cry. Even after years, sometimes i'm still crying over the same reason. Lol my father once said " Ara dah tk macam dulu, dulu ara kuat, buat lah pape, jangan harap ara nangis, mesti selalu lawan sapa yg kacau, but now.. nangis je keje" Yes I do admit saya mmg macam tu. But I am so lucky to have someone that i can trust utk nangis, untuk mengada yang sentiasa tak give up Walaupun i can be such a pain in the ass, tiba tiba sensitive semacam takda reason, tetiba happy pulak smpai jd awkward budak ni sedih ke happy. Tetiba random experiment to make sure things that i doubt out of the blue, balik penat penat drive kena layan pulak orang ni terasa lol yes I know i am mengada hihi Thankyou 😊 At times, I felt so regret for taking this journey, if only i choose something else i wouldn't have to be this sad. But then i met all of them, they gave me strength to survive this medical journey. To survive getting an F lol So in every clouds, there is a silver lining. I guess this is mine. I have them in my life. Thankyou kawan kawan 😊😋 Am officially  twenty and that marks my maturity. Cewah tipu je. Haha inshaaAllah saya akan makin terima sikit demi sikit.

Ps: saya igt nk upload video kt insta tapi tak reti nk edit cantik cantik haha am still a newbie.

Ps: For those SPM leavers yang baru dpt result and result tu kurang memuaskan. Don't worry too much. It's not the end. I got an 8A+ and 1A and i didn't get what i want. The attitude towards the result, how you deal with it, how you plan your road is what matters. I realised I was a bit overconfident with my results so I took things for Granted. So make a plan, inshaaAllah whatever your results are, you'll get what you want at the end. As long as you keep the effort going.

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Adam

Adam i miss you miss you miss youuuuu. kenapa balik kuantan harini ? :( Tak sayang aunt jugak ke? :( Kalau ada adam mesti dia tengah try buat aunt dia ketawa. Macam kelmarin dia duduk je depan aunt. Tengok aunt sedih. Then dia amik mainan burung dia. Pusing pusing aunt pusing pusing ! Aunt pun pusing la wlpn tak la hilang terus sedih. but it does help a little. Lepas tu dia duduk je depan aunt diam diam. Dia mcm cakap something "aunt nangis" camtu bunyi dia. And boleh la dapat hug dari Adam. And how can i not love him. #nephewkesayangan hihi

Sorry

I just need someone to hear me out. I know I shouldn't say those things to people. but i need someone to listen. I hope someone to understand why i'm saying it. I dont mean to say bad things. I'm just really really sad. But i guess the more i say it, the more negative thoughts people will have towards me. Even from the closest.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

17022015

If only i know i will face this over and over again, i would not have make this choice. O Allah, make me strong. because I'm really weak right now.  I know I should be thankful with everything I got. lots of them got less than what i have right now. But i see myself as a failure. A complete failure. Ask me did i achieve anything? and the answer is No. People are moving on in their life accomplishing something, achieving something, or doing anything that they love, and what did i do? Nothing. Make me a thankful person ya Allah. I'm really sorry for not being grateful. because I am just a normal human and I have feelings.

Monday, February 2, 2015

Big Hero 6

Big Hero 6 

Such an inspiring movie ! I LOVE ! hihi Long time since I last write. Cerita tu dah lama but just got the chance to watch it. And yes i have a new mission. hehehe Not so logic but.... i want to make BAYMAX, hehe It's like a combination of what I wanna do and what I'm doing right now. I really really want to make a Robot. I really really do. Kan seronok if i were to be that genius. Wow Hero wow. hihi Okay tu je. Done with my imagination but it really spice my spirit up. Please medic, don't pull down my creativity and imagination . Weee. till then :)

                                                                                                       Love,

                                                                                                       Me :3

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Approaching 2015

As requested by someone, I will try to conclude this year the best I can. 2014 has been a year full of ups and downs, knowing that life wasn't a bed of roses when I have received multiples of failure this year. From examination results to emotionally break down. But well I will focus more to the happiness this year. We as humans usually remembers all the sad things but neglected the happy things in life which causes us to have lack of "syukur". But to be honest there's not much accomplishment I have gotten this year. Alhamdulillah, now I am a second year medical student, but i don't really feel like a medical student just yet. I couldn't remember lots of things (selalu lupa details yg belajar which makes me not even a student, urgh) and I could not rule out a disease Azmi's suffering each time. Oh just for your knowledge, Azmi is currently suffereing HFMD, Hand Foot Mouth Diseases, so he's right beside me right now. hihi #AuntMithali #perasan. haha So maybe i have to make a resolution that can brighten up this 2015. 
Ammar Azmi yg macho now kurg sikit sbb kena HFMD ;P haha



 
 Lets use pictures to describe what I haven't written :)

Raya celebration at Tiara's. Thankyou for having us. :D not in thepicture : Iman Husaini.

We celebrated Moon cake festival this year thanks to Jia Yee, Tracy, Ke Chi and lots more :)




The beginning of 2014, I started to grasp the way of studying of a medical student. My marks did improve but that is NOT my way of studying. I memorize from the beginning to the end of the lecture notes. But I guess that is the way of a medical student to study and score with flying colours. Right? haha mmg kena struggle menghafal. One thing I hate most. I can't even memorize a piano song that my teacher ask me to (it's only a kid song). It's not that I can't I just don't want. haha teruk kan perangai. haish. Well so this brings to my number one resolution

#1 : Cari Important Questions, understand and memorize it. AND make notes so those looks easier than the serabut lecture notes. haha (time cuti)


This wasn't during the January Holiday. Tak igt bila around bulan sembilan hihi
January Holiday.
We decided to make a two-week holiday in Selangor and Malacca (My house and Dylla's as our accomodation- jimat sikit duit haha) We called this trip as #holidaywithdylsar. Eventhough I lived in Selangor, I haven't been to lots of places haha Lame me. I can't travel alone and don't like to and I have no partner in crime to travel together. So since Dylla was here in Bangi, here's an opportunity to travel the world. (Selangor je la, lulz - but really hoping one day to travel the world with loved ones) so, ktorang pi rumah 4 musim, bukit cherakah. Tapi lawak jugak our journey, I took mama's GPS and letak la nk pi mana semua, sekali dia bawak pi hutan simpan stop tepi jalan haha luls Dylla : Sara, dah sampai" Sara: "Sampai mana ni wehh, tepi highway kejadah apa GPS ni hahaha :')))" Tapi, last last jumpa lah yg betul punya haha.Then our next destination is Arts places in shah alam, seronok tangkap gambar and edit semua(Seksyen 2 tk silap ada yg baru belum pergi), well our instafamous #dyllarezan do add her in instagram :P haha She edited my picture time ktorg pi hmm damansara something shopping mall. Most likes kay time tu among other pictures on that time hihi lol Reason of going there sbb ada payung cantik cantik, but on our trip, it was quite near to Chinese New Year, so takda payung ada tanglung je. haha dissapointed sikit lah but Nasib tanglung pun cantik la jugak. haha Last destination, kakak join. pi I-City. It was my first time going there. Sad story. Tapi kak pun tak pernah pi. haha Pandai jugak diorg buat ada banyak Wax museum, lampu lampu, Trick-Art museum, Snow Walk, water themepark, astronaut apa tah. But we went only to Wax Museum, Trick-art Museum and Snow Walk. Nice jugak la tak tahu kenapa diorg tk pandai promote, cause kalau tak pi tk tahu pun ada those things. Jemput pergi. haha


Malacca trip.
We took a bus from TBS to Malacca. Pretty exciting and adventurous kan? lol padahal ramai je naik bas but that was somehow our first time lagi lagi dengan kawan. haha When we reach to Malacca, we received a call which direct us straight to the hospital. Few hours after that we received a call saying her Datuk had passed away. (Innalillahiwainnailahirajiunn, please recite Al-fatihah for him, Alfatihah) I felt so helpless. I couldn't help anything. I'm not good with words so what I could say, I might say something that hurts more so I decided to keep quiet. Which was also not a good decision. I knew how sad were they, but I couldn't say I couldn't express, I didn't know how to calm them, I didn't know if I was able to be a doctor who would deliver a message like this. My mouth was glued. I felt like crying, but I thought I must be the one who have to stay strong. I don't know, everything makes me feel miserable. I'm sorry for not being there when I was right beside of you. i'm not good with words. I called mama asking what should I do, can she take me home, and terus mama okay. Malam tu bagitahu dylla, tomorrow i'm going home. Then mak dia cakap rasa bersalah cause i came as a 'tetamu' but i was not treated like one. But I felt more guilty for not able to help anything, emotionally or physically. Time org tengah sedih, kena sibuk layan pulak kita. I'm really really sorry. Dylla was being the one who stay strong at that time, and i tried not to pecahkan tembok kekuatan nya by not asking and I didn't even know if that was a right thing to do. :(  In the midst of sadness, Dylla bawak pi taman rama rama, then naik beca, we enter a museum in a really big kapal. We had a nice time but i know she was hiding her sadness behind her smile. Thankyou, I'm really sorry for not being a good friend. Saddest thing; you are right beside your bestfriend and you still couldn't help :(

Celebrating Birthday at home. Mama and I :)


Then coming to 26/2. What's so important of that date? Nahhh mmg tak important pun haha It's my birthday. #hadiahmana? kihkihkih I was waiting for my parcel I bought through online shop. Dah berapa hari delay tah. I was waiting eagerly and patiently. Then, kak yanti cakap, Ara ada bungkusan utk ara. I was like. "Yeayyy Baju ara dah smpai, Yeayy tak kena tipu." lol mana la tahu online shop to menipu ke kan haha When I took the parcel, eh lain nama pemberi ni..... But well the smile in my face got brighter. So arahan, wait until 26/2. Saja la nak bagi si pemberi tu risau, tak bagitahu dia dah terima parcel. Tapi si pemberi pulak tanya najwa. haha so Kantoi la sbb i cerita kat najwa. So malam tu bukak dengan excited nya to reived a pair of sneakers bunga bunga hihi Dah agak sikit dapat sneakers sbb najwa suruh ukur kaki haritu. haha Well, Najwa is his number one spy. haha Well, thankyou encik boss. Now, wearing it everyday to school. (read: university) :)


So this year we went to Sabah for the first time. Kakak, Ara and abang. We made a really drastic decision. Decision mmg dah lama tapi tak jadi jadi. So last minute esok nak pergi, ktorang beli tiket flight, cari hotel and everything haha Ktorang mmg tak plan bantai je terus pergi. next time nk pergi kena plan bebetul baru berbaloi. Dah la sepanjang trip tu I have a diarrhoea problem. haha stress betul. Mana tah dapat dari orang mana. hish. First day of the trip i slept for a while, i dreamt we wasted three days sleeping and only of the third day ktorg terbangun sedar sedar kena kejar flight. Menyesal gila dalam mimpi tu, luckily bila bangun eh it was only few hours. Fuhh lega. So our trip was to the pulau Manukan ++ ( basically all the pulau's ) Cantik air dia. Wow breathtaking scenery. Very recommended to go! Then ktorang naik Gunung Kinabalu, Panjat sampai kaki gunung around km, haha rugi kat situ lah masa memanjat, padahal bukan nk naik puncak. Then we travel to Tmpt air Panas, Stay situ quite lama. Next destination, Fish Spa, tamparuli kot? Sampai sampai dah tutup haha #$adlYf3 lol So tak sempat pi, rumah terbalik pun tak sempat and dairy farm. Orang cakap tu breathtaking looks like New Zealand scenery. Well, tak sempat pi so I need another trip to Sabah I guess. ;) hihi



Last but not least, a decision I Rarely did, I went to a someone's kenduri doa selamat. because i have very little guy friends so i rarely go out with them so yeah. Segan la i pi sorang, so i forced my bestfriends, Najwa and Raihan to tag along. Takda la force, diorg rela hati la jugak haha Sampai tu segan rasa nak balik je, "Najwa, kita pusing balik lah" hahaha Memang ada orang nk kena sepuk lah tu. Raihan balik so haritu we went to Saujana Putra and then to Putrajaya, we also got a free tol. Weeee ;) eh ke free tol to a week before haha tak ingat dah lol Nasib nampak Azam who had just arrived jugak. So ikut dia jalan sekali ke rumah. Cauk kay, I pakai dah la selekeh haha What if ? What if ? lol taknak bagitahu What if apa. Tapi okay la as i reached there, everyone's were really welcoming. :) Alhamdulillah hihi gedik, lol Tapi tak tahu nk borak apa, duk tunduk je lol lame me. hahaha Then we met again at KLIA. Time tu kurang sikit kot awkward nya. Ingat nk buat suprised sekali terkantoi jumpa dekat surau haha Bila dia takda, borak dengan dia punya siblings and sister in law. Okay la tak awkward haha sebab diorg perempuan lol. dah la segan lah nk cerita apa pun takda motif padahal. hope org tak baca sampai habis haha till hand meets keyboard, azmi dah bising haha toodles.

And many more....
Bawak those unfortunate to buy Raya things, baju melayu etc. Seronok tgk orang happy
 but this guy pemalu malu. haha he's standard 6. haha  And i made baju kurung myself. And saya beraya rumah Najwa hihi
ps: Eh lupa resolution #2, #3 + haha next time lah. lol