Alone time

Is it wrong or abnormal to spend time alone enjoying my own company? -.-

I was eating alone and there's one person ask, "Sorang je ke? Mana kawan?"
I knew she was just making a conversation so i was like, "Yup sorang je. Sbb kelas tk sure ada tak so diorg balik rumah dulu"

Not annoyed yet.

Then, i was just finishing my food, again she asked "eh sorang je?"

What the heck i told you kan. So again sabar sara. Haah sorang je.

After eating, i went to surau for a rest. Then 10 minutes after that, she came into surau, and she was "eh sorang lagi? Kawan mana?"

OMG like man. Obviously it was not even an hour yet the answer is the same la. Ahhhhh stghess.

Kalau mcm esok tanya soalan tu takpa lah. But not even one hour apart ????

Ps : all the questions are from the same person.

Sometimes you just grow apart from people

I found this article and i could relate to this. I somehow are very very closed to this group of friends. However, as we grew older, we grew apart. I'm not sure if it was me or them who changed but we are clearly growing apart. 

"The more you try to pretend the friendship is the same, the more obvious it becomes that it’s changed."

So, Yes. I have tried. I have tried my best too many times. Pretending that we were still the same. There's nothing that has changed. But it become so obvious that things have changed. I literally give up trying. And lets just say I accept the fact that we are no longer best friends.

Because if you still think them as your best friends, it is so freaking SAD, that ...

You’ll just always be reminded of how close you USED to be and how everything’s now changed and you’re not sure why. To me, that seems more painful than just cutting the friendship off. (but I don't mean cutting off, just accept the fact that they are no longer your best friends, but just friends.)

Sometimes you grow apart from your best friend and there really isn’t a good reason as to why. 

Sometimes you just grow apart from people. You get older, your personality matures or devolves, and all of a sudden you find yourself not having a whole lot in common with someone you once did. This is just a casualty of growing up. For some reason, “growing apart” is the hardest thing to come to terms with. 

Advice and kiss from a patient

Cerita hari ini.

We went to the psychiatric ward and there was a new patient. The patient was singing happily and was very talkative. While we were clerking her, she suddenly pointed to my shoes.

"Hey tak pakai stokinnnnn. Auratt!"
"Awak pun tak pakai"
"Saya takpa, saya sakit"

Ouch over there. Haha Allah sends advice from anywhere and whoever He wants. Lepas ni tkleh dah malas pakai. I do wear socks but some of the times when i cant find the same pair, i'll ignore it haha

Bila nak balik, semua orang dah bla, i was stucked with her. She suddenly kiss me on my cheek. I was able to avoid by putting my hand over my cheek. So she kissed over my hand. Haha new experienced for me. (A kiss by a stranger) 

Dont read

Allow me untuk maki sekejap

Aku tak faham la perempuan perempuan bila dah ada boyfriend. lebih kan laki drpd family. Apakahhhhhhhh? Nak emo guaaaa. Aku dah la nk exam esok ZZZZZZ

I love kids that love me !

Hellooooo. Hai. Sawadeekap. hihi

Aku jarang cerita pasal experience masuk hospital ni tapi harini mcm comel tapi kena reject kah kah.

Today two kids approached me. Sorang tu tetiba datang kat aku time basuh tangan. She looked amaze macam "Wow Kakak so amazing !" haha k NO. perasan kah kah. Dia nk basuh tangan jugak. So aku pun angkat la dia basuh tangan. Okay then settle. Dia nk tissue bagai so dah lap dah tangan semua dengan tissue.

Suddenly dia buat mulut cam nk kiss.


(Picture saved from google bukan gambar budak tu)

Aku macam eh dia ni kenapa dah.
"Adik nak kiss akak ke? Haa okay la kiss lah" - feeling extra weird. (mungkin dia nk balas budi kot basuh tangan dia)
Bila bagi pipi terus dia pandang tempat lain, pakai tissue lap mulut
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Mesti dalam hati dia akak ni dah kenapa perasan sangat. Orang suruh lap mulut je pun hahahahaha
Pastu after settle buang tissue semua, aku mcm okay dik. SEPP !

DIA REJECT ! - Ouch, sakitnya tuh di sini hahaha

Cuba teka cemana dia reject ? Dia buat macam nak sep tapi sep tangan sendiri.

I got rejected mannnn. luls


Second boy, biasa je la tetiba dia datang just nk dukung. Tp well I felt love !



Seronok actually masuk clinical years, banyak sangat new and interesting experience. Wad kanak kanak ni best la sebab I kan suka babies and small children hehehehe

Ada satu budak ni sangat sangat buat aku terharu and felt loved. <3 p="">She is an indian girl. Dia sangat sangat sangat friendly.

Biasa la kan budak budak semua takut sakit amik darah. So time tgh borak with her mom, doctor panggil suruh amik darah. So I waited patiently at the bedside. (Budak budak amik dekat bilik special sbb tknk bagi orang lain cuak kalau dengar diorg jerit haha ) Tetiba doctor datang balik, awak tolong saya kejap boleh ? Kena pegang kuat kuat tau dia gerak gerak jerit jerit.

I was expecting alamak mesti nnt budak tu benci aku. Sebab paksa dia kena amik darah even sakit. Macam dah risau lah, I don't want kids to not like me.

"Tgk akak ni, amik darah... NOOOOO!"

Guess what actually happen ? Bila aku masuk dalam bilik tu aku panggil nama dia.

"Akakkkkkk, tolonggggggg !" - suara dia macam oh hero dah datang nk tolong.
"-Nama- kuat kannnn? Tahan sikit kayyy, doctor amik darah je."

I was expecting dia struggle teruk tau, when I came, she was like so strong not struggling, trying not to cry or shout.

It seems to me that I really give her the courage. (Mungkin aku perasan je tp I felt that way)

So weekend ni bila balik, I really wanna give her colour pencils and some pictures to colour, sedih sikit rupanya dia dah discharge today :/ but Alhamdulillah maksudnya dia dah sihat lah :)

I love kids that love me hehehe and ofcourse everyone that loves me too ! <3 br="">

Last Seminar in Taylor's

Saja nak share sikit intipati anti depressant seminar esok sbb comel penguin ni hihi rasa bahagia buat mungkinkah dapat sikit sikit therapeutic effect nya? Hahaha

Sedih

Sangat sangat sedih. I felt every part of me is falling down. I wont be surprised if I get an F for this OSPE and OSCE. It was the first time that i had to perform the clinical skills first. The clinical skills tested is catheterisation. I was quite nervous and i took a lot of time cleaning the suprapubic area, the private part and stuff, and as i inserted the catheter into the mannequin, the bell rang. I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED DOING THE CRUCIAL PART. NOT EVEN A BIT OF IT. And since that was the first station, it demotivates me till the end. Everything seems miserable. EVERY SINGLE THING. Then i say this microscopic picture, i was so sure it was Chronic Pyelonephritis, but then i saw the description : large and the kidney picture looks so huge. Chronic Pyelonephritis should'nt be larged. So i wrote everything else other than chronic pyelonephritis, again the bell rang. Then, i realised large pelvicalyceal, not large kidney. IT IS THE DESCRIPTION OF CHRONIC PYELONEPHRITIS. Yes. I should have followed what i saw microscopically instead of imagining the gross features. The kidney looks large because they zoomed in the picture. Urgh!

Emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo dgn diri sendiri. And now I'm writing because I just have no .... (feel in the blank tak sure perkataan apa sesuai) to face anyone so bersendirian di labcomp. lol

Lesson learnt, jangan nk nervous sgt smpai buat benda yg tk penting pun gila detail. And kalau dah tahu microscopic jangan kena tipu dengan imgination sendiri tengok gross dia -.-

ps: And That's not the only two i screwed up.